Sunday, September 7, 2008


So I just looked at my activity on my blog. There are people reading my blog. Like.. Random people. It's weirding me out. I can only imagine what it must feel like when you get caught in an embarrassing situation but have to get help from the cops.

Something really bad, like, you decided to have sex with your boyfriend in a tree and your clothes fell to the ground knocking the ladder down and all you have is each other and a cell phone to call for help.

I think having random strangers read your intimate boring rants must be something like having to explain to the cops what you were doing up a tree, naked. (We were just picking fruit, yeah, and then, uh.. our clothes.. became.. itchy.. ANTS! THEY WERE FILLED WITH ANTS SO WE HAD TO TAKE THEM OFF TO SAVE OUR LIVES! OUR LIVES, MAAAAAN!")

Reminds me of the one time I got pulled over by a cop. I was crossing the street from my highschool and earlier that day my friend had brought a set of fore-play dice to class, not even sure why, but he gave them to me because he was afraid of getting caught with them (and the teachers all loved me and would never have thought to search me) but me being the absent minded person I am forgot to give them back at the end of school. I had completely forgotten the bloody things were in my pocket, and then suddenly =WOOP WOOP= the sirens of a copcar go off and a police officer pulls me over for jaywalking.


I didn't even know that was a real crime! I thought it was something they just made up, like those little tags on matresses that you're not suppose to tear off.

Anyways, he has me put my hands on the car trunk and spread my legs so he can pat me down. He empties my pockets onto the car and so now I'm standing there, legs and arms spread having to explain to him what these dice are (my being a virgin only adding to the awkwardness since fore-play dice aren't exactly my area of expertise) while students and teachers drive by on their way home afterschool. Still don't know why I got cuffed and put into the backseat so he could look up my record for freakin' Jaywalking.

Anyhoo, the moral of the story is:

Meh.. Greetings and Salutations Random Ass People..


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would get revenge on the cops. I would get them back so bad people would make movies about it.