The Devil.

I was looking at my email, when something I would have normally ignored caught my eye. It was this.

You can imagine my horror once I found that -the- Billy Mays (of Amish Barn 12) had moved on to bigger and better things, namely life insurance. I shudder at the thought of seeing one of these commercials air.

Think about it. Life insurance (like coseco direct, wait no, colonial life, wait no, conseco direct, wait no, colonial life.. (they keep flipflopping between names since I watched price is right with my grandmother at the tender age of 4)) is aimed towards the elderly. Health insurance offers multitudes of branches, including life. Can you imagine ↑ THIS GUY ↑ at nine in the morning, screaming at your Nana at the top of his lungs:

"BILLY MAYS HERE WITH COLONIAL PENN LIFE INSURANCE, TO

OFFER YOU THE VALUE OF A LIFETIME! LITERALLY! DO YOU WORRY

ABOUT LEAVING YOUR LOVED ONES WITHOUT THE MONEY TO BURY

YOUR CARCASS? WELL WORRY NO MORE WITH THIS AFFORDABLE..."

You get the idea. Poor Nana will die, instantly, in her lazy boy, coffee and english muffin still warm next to her cooling, rigid form. What a way to go.

Meh, I should put him on my hitlist.

SLATFATF
~Å~