Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Pity Party, Your Table is Ready...

Had myself a cry. That sentence alone is something I don't say outloud, so feel honored interweb. I can't bring myself to write about what or why, but that confession alone feels like some sort of a small step.

In unrelated news, life ticks on.

I'm currently watching a movie adaptation of one of my favorite books, 1984. Still trying to find myself a hobby that doesn't involve me sitting in front of a screen... no sitting at all would be best. Bought myself an album to store photos in, it was on sale and I wanted to maintain some things that have been drifting loose for probably far too long. It makes me wonder if anyone has a picture of me. I mean an actual one, not just a blurred digital one hastily made with someones camera phone before I either notice them, hide from them, or flick the camera off. I've gotten much better about it over the last year or so, but what about before then? I can only think of two occasions when I have given my picture. One was to a significant other, and the other to my mother. No matter who asks for them, those remain the two situations alone. I wonder why that is?

My mother wants me to go in for a batch of new photos for her, perhaps a mother-daughter photo session like I had when I was... 18? I think it was 18. I forget now. I haven't decided if I am going to agree to it or not. I want to look my best, and I don't think that now is my best. Nothing a little hard work and a pact with the devil won't fix. I need to stop trying to make pacts with the dark lord in order to solve life's problems. Especially since he doesn't seem to be listening, or at least is only keeping me on the back log. You think the devil has call waiting?

Meh... probably screens his calls instead.


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