Saturday, January 2, 2010

Resolutions Pollution

A New Year's Resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. I've decided to give this thing a real shot as one of mine. I tend to avoid/shy-away-from things like blogging, tweeting (twittering? twitterpating? being all atwitter?), myspace, facebook, etc etc etc. It is my logic that the people who matter in my life will know where I am without having to check a website. They'll know what I've done recently, and even what has been done to me without having to constantly check the postings at some virus-contaminated replacement for good-old-fashioned staying in contact. I don't even text-message because it is my opinion that if it's important enough that you want to tell me it, you'll pick up the god damned phone (the same one you're rapidly punching the keys of in order to send me some garbled abbreviated jumble that I must then track down 3 Russians and a codex in order to decipher) and call me! If not, then it's probably just some little animated-pixelated-gif of a leprechaun shaking his naked-buttocks at me, with the original and catchy slogan of "kiss me i'm irish" hidden somewhere amongst the labyrinth of forwards-to addresses and demands for me to send this to everyone on my contacts list or else my penis will rot off in front of the girl I am madly in love with by next Tuesday and I'll never find true happiness or my keys for all of eternity (which is one hell of a feat since I'd have to grow a penis and become a lesbian in order for that fate to come to unfurl. A hell of a lot to do in the span of 4 days.)

So, hatred aside, I'm going to spew my ramblings and opinionated mental expectorations on this matrix of the macabre we call the web-blog. May God protect me. Or some all-powerful-being. Maybe a little prayer to the divine Oprah.

Meh, blogs.


I still hate these things. And all of you. Okay, maybe that's the old me speaking. But I do still find this all trite and pointless.

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